


Alone Together

by Timeant_Mea



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, TW: Panic Attacks, Trans!Virgil, tags can change with time, tw: transphobia, tw:kicking out, tw:queerphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2020-06-28 06:43:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19806838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Timeant_Mea/pseuds/Timeant_Mea
Summary: Patton lives off in the country side, in the quite old fashioned town of Carstairs. Besides the yearly phone call on his birthday with his sister Angela, he is completely cut of from his family. One day, he receives a unexpected phone call from Angela, way of the normal date of his birthday. Before Patton can even say hello, she says that her daughter Valerie will be coming to his house tomorrow, and will not be allowed to return before she can "act normal again,"Patton does all he can to make Valerie feel at home when she arrives. But when his niece arrives, it suddenly becomes clear why her mom sent her away.





	1. Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger warnings for this chapter:  
> Transphobia, food mention, unintentional misgendering
> 
> If I am missing triggers please tell me

The day hadn’t started that weird for Patton. At exactly seven am he was woken up by the neighbor’s rooster, had stretched, showered and baked an egg for himself. He greeted the mailman, Nate, who was as normal late again, and he was now sitting in his chair, reading the newspaper and thinking about the new freelance job he had gotten. What wasn’t according to plan however, is that at ten am his phone went off. He didn’t expect any calls, nobody called him anyway besides from his sister Angela on his birthday. And seeing that it wasn’t his birthday, he was extra surprised that it was actually his sister that was calling him. He took up the phone but didn’t even get to say hello because Angela immediately started talking.  
“Patton, thank god. Say you still live in that small town in Canada right? Carston?” she rambled, gasping for air at the end of the sentence  
“Carstairs yes, but why...” Patton tried to ask more, but immediately his sister started talking again  
“Okay, good. You remember Valerie, right?”  
“Your daughter? Yes, you told me about her a few times, sounded like a lovely child”  
“Well she is not so lovely anymore” the disgust is clear in her voice. “She will be put on a plane tonight, and will arrive at your home tomorrow,”  
“Wait, Angela, what is this all abou…”  
“She will stay with you until she can act normal again. Hopefully that town of yours can slap some sense into her. It did it to you,”  
“Angela…”  
But it was to late, the line went dead, and all that could be heard now was the beeping of a line cut off. Patton was confused, but nothing to be done about it now. Tomorrow his niece would arrive, so he should start making the guest room.  
~~~  
At 3 pm, the next day, a cab turned up in Patton’s driveway. Patton just finished baking a chocolate cake for his guest, because he thought it must be scary for her too to suddenly have to stay with an uncle she had never met and probably only heard about on a handful of occasions, if ever at all. He quickly threw his now very flour stained apron in a washing basket before walking to the door. But when he opened the door, it was not really what he was expecting. Instead of the girl in a sundress, there was standing a child with short, purple dyed hair wearing an oversized patched jacket and ripped jeans, together with some obviously worn out Vans. She looked, like a boy…  
Patton quickly pulled himself together. It is not his place to judge the fashion of adolescents, he thought. He has probably been living so long in the middle of nowhere that everything has probably changed. Then he noticed that Valerie was looking extremely nervous.  
“Owh, I’m sorry kiddo. I was probably staring. It is just… I have never seen you,” Great Patton, he thought. Way to make it awkward.  
Valerie shook up, clearly startled by Patton suddenly talking.  
“No, ehm, I’m sorry” she says, fiddling more with the sleeves of her jacket.  
“No, no need to be sorry. I guess it is just a pretty nervous situation for both of us. Besides it is not good to make the present tense,” Patton said with a cheeky smile.  
Valerie first looked up in confusion, before letting out a small chuckle and after that immediately slapping her hand before her mouth. Patton noticed it but decided to not say anything about it but instead giving her a reassuring smile.  
“Now, Valerie, I made chocolate cake you want some?”  
All the joy that was first in Valerie’s eyes immediately disappeared and she went back to fidgeting with her sleeves while muttering something, tears clearly forming in her eyes. Patton immediately stopped walking towards the kitchen and knelt next to her.  
“Hey, kiddo, what’s wrong?”  
Valerie said nothing, the fidgeting only increasing.  
“Is it something I said? Please tell me, then I can change it in the future,”  
“Can’t. Bad. ‘m being annoying,” she muttered, just loud enough for Patton to hear.  
“You’re not being annoying Valerie, please tell me what’s wrong? I want to help you,”  
Valerie flinched again.  
“Can’t. Mom angry. Don’t deserve,” Her breathing was getting heavier, more irregular. Patton knew this was not good and having seen his friend Logan once getting a panic attack, he now knew the signs of one.  
“Valerie, look at me,” Patton said, but to no prevail. The sobbing only increases. The name, he thinks then. Every time he has said her name, it got worse. Okay, new tactic.  
“Kiddo, can I touch you?” No words come out, but Patton sees her head slightly shaking so he doesn’t do it.  
“Okay, no touching. Can you listen to my voice?”  
Nod  
“Good. Now, we are going to breathe in for four seconds, can you do it with me?”  
Valerie gets in a shaky breath, but after two seconds she starts coughing.  
“No worries, we can just try it again. One, two, three, four. Good job. Now we are gonna hold that breath for seven seconds. Yes? Good. Now we are going to breathe out for eight. Yes, there you go,”  
Valerie does everything he askes of her, and after a few times her breathing gets more evened out and the sobs start to become softer.  
“Can I touch you now kiddo? You want a hug?” Patton asked. Valerie nodded in return. Patton enveloped her in a hug, slowly stroking her hair while she sighed against his chest. They sit there for about ten minutes, Valerie noticeably becoming calmer. After a few minutes of silence, she suddenly said something, but it is muffled by Patton’s shirt. Patton slowly looked down, still stroking her hair.  
“Sorry, what did you say? I couldn’t really understand you,”  
Valerie looked up for a moment, eyes red from crying, before she starts talking again.  
“My… my name is Virgil,”


	2. Lie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil learns more about Patton's past.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: Food, queerphobia, transphobia, homophobia, abandonment, lying

A lot of people would think Patton’s reaction would be shocked, confused, or at the very least surprised. But none of that was true. He had seen from the moment he opened the door that Val… Virgil was not a girl, not a typical one at the very least. But he hadn’t found it his place to comment on that, now he just found himself stupid for not asking for pronouns. Or the normal introductions at the very least. He should have followed his own advice, he thought. That assuming made an ass out of you and me.

Virgil was still looking up to him, waiting for a reaction.

“Virgil, it suits you. What are your pronouns if I may ask?”

Virgil was taken back by that.

“What… what do you mean by pronouns? I mean I know what pronouns are, and everyone uses she and her for me and…”

“No no, I am not asking what everyone else uses for you. I want to know what you _want_ to be called,” Patton said. Slowly the puzzle pieces started to fall in place to him why his sister send her child all this way.

“Ehm… male pronouns, he and him?” Virgil said very nervously. He looked like he was almost waiting for someone to start screaming at him. Poor boy, Patton thought, he is afraid to be himself. Anger bubbled up in Patton, but he pushed it down. Later was the time to be angry at Angela, now he needed to be there for Virgil.

“He him it is! Now, you still in the mood for chocolate cake? It is not gonna eat itself!” he said while tugging himself and Virgil back on their legs. Virgil nodded, his stomach making a small rumble that made Patton laugh. They walked together to the kitchen where Virgil went to sit at the table while Patton putted on some tea. After a few moments of silence, Virgil nervously spoke up.

“Uncle Patton…” Virgil asked

“Just Patton kiddo. Uncle makes me feel so old and I am not even forty yet,” he chuckled. “Besides, you probably didn’t even know you had an uncle until yesterday,”

“Yeah, that is what I wanted to talk about. Mom has never talked about you, you never come with Christmas or Thanksgiving. How’s that?”

Patton let out a sad sigh

“They couldn’t accept me like I was,” he said, focusing on the tea.

“But why? You seem so nice…”

Patton putted the tea in two cups and laid the two slices of cake on plates before walking back to the table where Virgil was sitting. He shoved Virgil’s cup and plate his way, and took a big breath.

“When I was in my last year of high school, I realized I had a crush on a boy that was sitting in front of me in calculus. His name was Aaron,” he said. Virgil took a sip from his cup, listening to every word Patton was speaking.

“I knew of homosexuality then. I had a friend even who was openly gay. It all went well for him, so why wouldn’t it for me, I thought. Boy was I wrong…” Patton let out a sad chuckle.

“A week later, I told my parents and my sister it. Your grandparents and your mother. They were all shocked, but my dad was the first to shrug it off and say, ‘that’s nice for you’. My mother and sister followed as well so I thought they had accepted me. That it just went as well for me as that friend,”

“But six months later, I came home with my first boyfriend, Aaron from calculus. I was so happy, and everyone was very polite to him. But as soon as he was gone my dad pulled me aside and told me that I should grow over this phase. That I didn’t have to do this to be popular. I told him it wasn’t a phase, that this was how I really felt. He told me to pack my stuff, and that I could return once I acted normal again,”

“That is, that is what my mom told me before sending me here,” Virgil says, clearly confused

“Yeah. Guess she got that from her dad. He was extremely queerphobic, I see now. And I fear your mom might have copied that from him,” Patton said, slightly embarrassed, but Virgil didn’t even flinch.

“But where did you stay?” Virgil asked further, not even noticing Patton’s embarrassment

“I called the friend I mentioned earlier, Logan. He lived alone with his mom. They allowed me to stay until me and Logan would start college together a month later. We kind of stayed together since. He now lives across the street and teaches at Hugh Sutherland School, the local school here,”

“He sounds nice,”

“He is. I hope you meet him someday,”

A moment of silence settles over the two while they drink their tea and eat the cake.

“Your mom started calling me again, about two years before you were born. She asked if I had gotten a girlfriend yet. I didn’t at the moment, but I had one until a few months before in a moment to prove to myself that I was normal. Biggest mistake I have made, but your mom seemed to take it that my ‘phase’ was finally over I think. And she didn’t even want to listen to me that it was a mistake. All she said was that she probably just wasn’t the right one. I couldn’t bring it up to tell her the truth, I was just so happy to have some family back. She still didn’t talk to me much, seeing as I had moved to Canada, and my father had done everything to erase me from family history,”

Patton sighed again, eyes getting watery. It was years ago, but it still hurt to talk, or even think about it. He didn’t know he was lost in thought until Virgil’s voice cut trough.

“Patton?” he asked

“Yes Virge?” he shot up, maybe a little bit to chipper. But if even noticed anything, he didn’t mention it.

“I’m glad you lied to my mom. Otherwise she wouldn’t have sended me here to meet you,” he said instead.

A watery smile found its way on Patton’s face

“Me too kiddo, me too”


	3. Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this town isn't as peaceful, good thing there are princes around to safe you when you are in trouble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> Toxic masculinity, harassment, implied sexual harassment, food mention, transphobia, panic attack, swearing. Please tell me if I am missing things.
> 
> Big thanks to my Beta Virgil (Tumblr; @therubyjailcel) for putting up with my messy mind.

Patton and Virgil keeps talking for what feels like hours. They talk about everything, from simple life achievements, to favorite foods. At one point, Virgil mentions that he liked a band named ‘My Chemical Romance’ and lets Patton listen to one of their songs. Patton is quick to say that this isn’t his type of music, and they both laugh about that.  
Right there, Virgil makes a decision. Even though he has never heard of his uncle until the day before, he already knows that he will never be able to let him go.  
At around six in the afternoon, both start to get hungry. It becomes quickly known that neither Patton or Virgil want to cook, so the unanimous decision falls on pizza from a local Italian place. And that is how they end up walking through the streets of Carstairs.  
“I tell you Virgil, Flavio makes the best pizza I have ever tasted. How an Italian wound up in this old town is beyond me, but as long as he keeps serving his pizza you don’t hear me complaining,” Patton has been rambling for the entire way there, and Virgil provides comments with the occasional snicker or sarcastic remark.  
“Well, here we are. You wanna go inside kiddo?”  
Virgil looks through the window and sees that the shop is not only very tiny, but also cramped with people.  
“I, uh, I would prefer not to… so many people,” he says, thinking his words would fall to deaf ears. But to his surprise, Patton’s reaction is positive.  
“No problem Virge. Just wait out here, I’ll be right back,” Patton quickly ruffles Virgil’s hair before heading inside. When the doors open, Virgil can hear the many voices chattering over each other and he is really glad he doesn’t have to go in there. To many people are like oil for his anxiety fire. 

Virgil pulls out his earbuds and his phone and selects a playlist full with musical songs. He might be an first class emo, but Broadway has some nice tunes that are quite addicting to him. After 2 songs, he quickly forgets the world around him and is bopping along with ‘The Schuyler Sisters’, shyly acting out the dance moves and mouthing along with the lyrics.  
He is so caught up in the music he doesn’t even notice a group of guys walking towards him and calling him until one of them pushes him. Virgil stumbles over, his earbuds yanking out of his ears and his phone sliding away from him over the pavement. He wants to chase after them, but something grabbed his arm.  
“Hey are you deaf or something? Jeff here was asking you something,” A boy with smooth blond hair is tugging Virgil’s arm, smirk clear on his face.  
“No, no I… Phone…” the panic is getting to Virgil, breathing and thinking starts to become harder and harder.  
“Good, you are new in town right? I have never seen you before, and I know all the girls here,” the other boy, Jeff, Virgil assumes, says. But there it is again, girl. People see him as a girl, and will never see him as anything else than a girl and he is just being annoying and…  
“Hello, earth to newbie? We want to show you around town, because we are such nice guys and a small girl shouldn’t be alone around here. We can take care of you,” the first boy says, smirk growing even bigger, and Virgil knows these boys are trouble. But somehow, a wave of courage washes over him, and he speaks up.

“I’m… I’m a boy,” he says, trying to stand up a little taller.

The boys look at each other confused for a moment, and then smirk back again.  
“Awh, little kitten thinks she is tough? Thinks she is a big boy?” Jeff says in a baby voice.  
“Maybe we should change that attitude,” boy one said. They looked at each other again and then both start tugging Virgil on both his arms, the grip very painful. Virgil struggles to get out, but the grip only becomes stronger.  
“Shh little kitten, we will learn you how to be a good girl. Just come with us and..”  
“HEY ASSHOLES! LEAVE THEM ALONE!” a voice booms through the street, the boys looking up to the source of the voice, looking at each other again, then dropping Virgil harshly to the ground and running away. Virgil rolls into a ball, tears now streaming down his face paired with silent sobs. Why? Why did this always happen to him?  
“Hey, shh, you are okay,” a voice whispers in his ear. Patton? The thought of Patton makes him calm down, the sobs becoming less frequent.  
“Yes, that’s good. Breathe,” A hand rubs in circles on his back, and while he normally doesn’t like to be touched, this touch is comforting and grounding. Eventually the crying stops, and he slowly looks up to the source of the voice.

That… that isn’t Patton.

Above him is sitting a man with auburn hair and brown skin. He flinches back.  
“Hey hey, shh, I don’t mean harm. I have your phone here,” the man say, holding Virgil’s phone in his hands like a peace offering.  
Virgil slowly comes forward and grabs his phone out of the hands of the stranger. He inspects it quickly. The case is a bit damaged, and one corner is chipped off, but nothing too bad. He looks up to the stranger again.  
“Gotta say, you got good taste. I love Heathers!” the stranger says, grinning wide.  
Virgil finds himself grinning back. This man helped him after he almost got kidnapped, he thinks. Guess he deserves some trust.  
“And…” Virgil scrapes his throat. God, it sounds like he has swallowed a bunch of sand.  
“And who are you supposed to be then? Chandler?”  
“Neh, I picture myself more as McNamara. And what about you JD?”  
Virgil chuckles. “Yeah, sure,”  
The man reaches out a hand.  
“Wanna get up? The pavement isn’t exactly that comfortable,”  
Virgil grabs the hand gratefully, and the stranger hoists them both up.  
“Roman Kingston by the way. Nice to meet you,”  
“Virgil…” Virgil hesitates. What was his last name, now that his parents kicked him out? Roman apparently doesn’t seem to mind.  
“Nice to meet you Virgil! Now, what did those boys want from you? You know them?” Roman asks, worry in his voice.  
“Never seen them before today. I moved in today anyway,” He says. He doesn’t really feel like talking about what else they said. Besides, no need to explain his problems to Roman if he didn’t hear about him.  
“Ah, another brave soul looking into the unknown. I moved in just last week. I was tasked with renovating the theater,” Roman says, and Virgil snickers because of his dramatics. Is this guy for real?  
“Now do you have someone looking over you here or…”  
“Virgil!”

Patton comes running from the pizzeria, pizza boxes slinging around in a tin plastic bag.  
“Virgil, god kiddo I was worried when I didn’t see you outside the pizza place. You alright?”  
Virgil nods. “yeah Patton, no problem. Roman helped me,”  
Patton finally seems to notice Roman, who in his turn holds out a hand for Patton to shake.  
“Roman Kingston, nice to meet you mister. I was just wondering where his parents could be,”  
“No mister please. Just Patton. And I am not his father, just his uncle,” Patton says shyly.  
“You seem like a cool uncle, Patton. Now I don’t know exactly what happened, but these two boys dragged him away, saying something about teaching him how to be a girl?” Roman says. Well, so far for Roman not knowing Virgil thought. Patton looked at Virgil worriedly, but Virgil only nodded.  
“I scared those assholes away, but do you know if there is any reason they might have come after Virgil?”  
Patton wants to speak up, but Virgil is quicker.  
“I’m trans, and they couldn’t understand that I am a boy,”  
Roman looks up to Virgil, surprised, but then his eyes fills with rage and sorrow. Virgil is afraid Roman is about to smash something to pieces, but he just takes a deep breath and focuses on Virgil again.  
“I’m sorry. But please let me tell you that you are such a brave knight! Fighting for his own kingdom!”  
Virgil snickers again. Apparently this guy is indeed for real. Patton is also doing his best to stifle a laugh.  
“Now, I have to go, but please feel welcome to drop by the theater any time! I can use some god manpower because that place is a mess,” Roman says. Patton shakes up.  
“Oh so you bought the old theater! I am so glad that it is in good hands. There were some rumors going around that it would be broken down,” He says to Roman  
“I would never destroy a place of the arts. Now, it was nice meeting you! Hope to see you!” Roman says while walking away.  
Patton stays silent for a few moments, but then he hears a small snicker from besides him. Virgil is doing his absolute best to contain his laughter, but is failing miserably. Just when he is starting to calm down, he looks the way Roman just walked away and whispered something.  
“Sure, Princey,”  
The laughter starts all over again.


	4. Small

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil has a bad nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: Nightmares, transphobia, panic attack, crying, someone saying "kill yourself". Please tell me if I am missing any

_It is dark and cold. Virgil was standing in a small supermarket in front of the register. Virgil doesn’t know if he has ever been in this supermarket before. It doesn’t look familiar to him, but it doesn’t really matter. All he knows is that he wants out, right now. He doesn’t know why he feels so uneasy, he just does._

_And then she steps in front of him._

_“Valerie, you are worthless. You are a shame of a daughter!”_

_Virgil wants to speak back, but his throat is blocked. He can’t speak or breathe. All he can do is feel extremely small._

_“Why are you even here? Everyone would be so much better off with you gone,” the guy behind the register speaks but, strangely enough, it’s with his mother’s voice._

_“No one loves you, you know that,”_

_The other customers start to join in._

_“You are just one big attention whore”_

_Patton is there._

_“You are worthless”_

_Virgil is shrinking with every word, until he is standing up on the counter, barely an inch tall. The words are surrounding him, consuming him._

_“Worthless”_

_“Worthless”_

_“Just kill yourself already,”_

_“Worthless”_

_“You are a burden to everyone”_

_“Worthless”_

_“No one loves you”_

_“ **WORTHLESS!** ”_

“STOP!”

Virgil shoots up in his bed, tears streaming over his face. He is breathing rapidly but getting no air in his lungs. He know he needs to calm down, but he doesn’t know how. The dream, no nightmare, is playing on repeat behind his eyes, the screams of the people in the store still ringing in his ears.

Water, water helps. He just needs to be silent, no need to wake anyone up. No need to bother anyone with something stupid like a nightmare. He slowly walks down from his, no the attic room Patton provided for him to the bathroom. He silently takes out a plastic cup from the cupboard and holds it with shaky hands while he turns the tap on to fill it with water. He takes a few sips, but he barely gets anything because of his rapid breathing and his shaking.

“Kiddo? Are you okay?”

Virgil nearly jumps at Patton’s voice. His uncle is standing there in an oversized blue striped t-shirt with some simple black boxers. Virgil opens his mouth to say that he is fine, but as he looks at the sleepy elder, and he breaks down. The tears come back, the cup falls down, spilling water everywhere and Virgil falls down to his knees, no longer having the energy to keep standing. Patton rushes to his side, but remembers just in time to not touch Virgil. He wants to ask if it is okay, but Virgil looks up at him with red eyes, holding his arms out towards him. This is all the conformation Patton needs before he rushes to his nephew’s side, cradling him in his arms while making small shushing sounds, exaggerating his breathing in hopes that Virgil will pick up on it. Virgil curls into the touch, letting out a sigh of relief between two of his sobs. This is warm. This is safe. The nightmare seems to fade to the background, the screaming not that loud anymore and after a while, his sobs begin to slowly fade as well.

“Do you want to talk about it Virgil?”

After Virgil stopped crying Patton took him downstairs for a cup of calming chamomile tea, finding it the best thing to calm down. Virgil is now hanging over his own mug, steam going into his face.

“I don’t remember many details. I was in some kind of supermarket. My mom was there, you were there as well. And some random people I have never met. But everyone… everyone was yelling at me. How worthless I am, how much of a... a burden I am to everyone. And I became so small… It was just so scary,” Virgil’s grip tightens on the hot mug, his hands savoring the warmth that the mug emits.

Patton thinks for a moment

“Virgil, do you have these nightmares regularly?”

Virgil hesitates at this question. He had expected a response like “You know I wouldn’t do that to you” or a “That is rubbish” but, but not this.

“Yes, not always the same one, but my mom and the humiliation are always there…” he answers.

Patton rubs his chin for a moment before looking straight at his nephew.

“Virge, I have someone I would like you to meet,”


End file.
